Recently, I attended a powerful presentation by an Indigenous Australian who spoke about the trauma of the Stolen Generations. These were children forcibly taken from their families in the name of “assimilation.” Although the practice ended in the 1970s, its legacy persists. Tragically, the trauma of losing one’s cultural identity still exists today — not always through government policy, but through parental child abduction.

As a left-behind parent, I’ve come to see disturbing parallels between this historic injustice and the cultural erasure my own daughter has faced. I hope sharing our story sheds light on this often-ignored issue.

How Parental Abduction Destroys Cultural IdentityHow Parental Abduction Destroys Cultural Identity

In my daughter’s case, she was placed in a household where:

  • She was told I was not her father.
  • Her life in Australia was denied.
  • Her English language skills were dismissed as a “developmental disorder.”
  • Her Japanese identity was exaggerated, while her multicultural background was erased.

These distortions weren’t just lies — they were tools of shame. Her mother, embarrassed by our mixed-race family, attempted to “cleanse” our daughter’s identity by denying her heritage.

“You Don’t Look the Part”: When Culture Is Judged by Appearance

I’ve experienced this too. Despite holding Italian citizenship and having deep connections to my father’s hometown, I’ve been accused of “inventing” my heritage — all because I don’t match someone’s idea of what an Italian should look like.

Recently, on a train, a woman made racist remarks about my children and said, “Everyone wants to be special these days.” This reflects a shallow view of culture — one based on skin tone and accent, not identity and experience.

My daughter now faces mental health challenges, and her medical records don’t reflect the full truth. Without recognising the trauma of abduction, alienation, and gaslighting, doctors only see symptoms — not causes.

The Psychological Impact of Cultural Erasure

Instead of compassion, she’s been met with dismissal. Instead of holistic care, only medication. It’s heartbreaking to watch, and it’s largely due to how her abductors control the narrative.

The Risk for Mixed-Race Children

Children of intercultural families don’t always fit in neat boxes. This makes them especially vulnerable to:

  • Cultural erasure
  • Gaslighting
  • Indoctrination

It’s easier for an abductor to push one cultural narrative while ignoring the other. This imbalance leads to confusion, shame, and long-term emotional harm.

Why “Adoption” Laws Must Change

In Japan, a new partner can “adopt” a child — often without oversight or involvement from the other parent. This enables:

  • Legal erasure of a parent
  • Name changes designed to hide a child’s origins
  • Disconnection from a child’s language and heritage

This must change. “Adoption” following abduction should be treated as a potential criminal matter, especially when it causes emotional harm.

Protecting a Child’s Cultural Identity: A Legal and Moral Imperative

Family courts should require:

  • Recognition of both parents in all legal documentation
  • Support for bilingualism and cultural literacy
  • Prohibition of identity-erasing name changes
  • Involvement of both parents in all major decisions

Adoptive stepparents must demonstrate:

  • A full understanding of the child’s cultural needs
  • Commitment to honouring both sides of the child’s identity
  • Willingness to foster, not erase, connections to their heritage

Conclusion: Cultural Identity Is Not Optional

Mixed-race children are wonderful — but they are not toys or trophies. They deserve respect, not manipulation. They deserve truth, not shame.

If someone cannot honour a child’s full identity, they should not be in a caregiving role. Erasing culture is abuse, and we need to treat it that way.