Author: Paper Boundaries

Women and parental child abduction

Is this now a feminist blog? No, I’m not a feminist. I support diversity and equality 100% in all facets of life. However, my major area of interest is preventing child abduction. Importantly, my ex-wife abducted our daughter. I cannot ignore the fact that a woman chose to abduct a young lady. Our daughter will be forever shaped by this. As a man, I try my best to see things through the eyes of others. This helps me to understand and better respect their challenges. So, why do women abduct their children in that majority of Japanese parental abduction...

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2020 visitations: Negotiating with COVID-19 uncertainty

COVID-19 and the Olympics present unprecedented challenges for child access in Japan. 2020 will be a test! Japanese schools are closed indefinitely. People fear that foreigners may give them COVID-19. My country’s government advises that I ‘exercise a high degree of caution’ when considering travel to Japan. Let’s not forget that before all of this, my daughter’s abductors were already playing silly games and claiming she didn’t want to see me. Further, my mum lost her house to the Australian bushfires, which blanketed us with hazardous smoke for 3 months. What can parents do to ensure access despite all...

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Glum today, but it’s all worth it…

Why so glum? Firstly, this blog is not about hating on Japan, my ex or women in general. That is a toxic path to walk down. However, I have my moments. For me, ‘access’ moves on a sliding scale and the scale itself often moves. Right now I feel sad. The scale has just moved – the game has just changed. Three years ago I regained limited, heavily obstructed access to my daughter. Two months ago my daughter’s step-dad sent me an e-mail (in Japanese). It said, ‘my daughter does not want to talk to you ever again, please...

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What about the grandparents?

Connecting with my (unknown) paternal grandparents This post certainly isn’t about me. However, I will start by reflecting on the fact I never had access to my paternal grandparents’ culture. My father is from an Italian background. I never lived with him and his parents were dead before I was born. I don’t speak Italian and have never visited Italy. However, I know I wouldn’t be here today if an Italian couple hadn’t fled Europe during times of conflict. I feel a little uneasy when people assume I can’t understand being from a migrant background because I’m ‘white’. Why?...

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Summer 2019 Visitation – Unedited

Setting: Summer 2019, pre-visitation In Summer 2019, my mother and I optimistically packed our bags for a three day visitation with my daughter. The ANA flight was marvelous and an air of nostalgia filled my nostrils as I exited the plane. Despite all that has happened, Japan is my second home and there is something to be said of that first whiff of humidity, fresh grass, luxury perfume, plastic, jet fuel and petrichor. After shuffling through customs and collecting my bags I grabbed a green tea and a small biscuit. I then took a bus to my favourite little...

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