Author: pbadmin

Direct Visitation Tips

Why prepare for direct visitation? To me, direct visitation is when I get to physically see my daughter. I get to see my daughter for three days a year (yes, three) under the watchful eyes of my ex-wife’s new husband. These three days are very intense, so preparation is important. I prepare so that I have a clear head, a positive attitude and enough activities to maximise the quality of our direct visitation. How can you prepare? I prepare by: discussing plans with close family members; preparing a travel itinerary; brush up those language skills; investigating support services; discreetly...

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Alienation – signs, tactics and identification

Alienation – what is it? Alienation (also known as Parental Alienation Syndrome, PAS) is often part of parental abduction. It is not defined in the Abduction Convention, but parental abduction is a kind of alienation. A broad definition from the article I have just quoted is ‘any conduct that hampers the coexistence of child or adolescent with parent in autonomous lawsuit or incidentally‘. I think a broad definition is useful because alienation can involve many different acts. Some argue that alienation is an excuse used by child abusers who don’t deserve access. I respect that some children need to...

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Visitation – planning, games, conversations

What is visitation and how can you get the most out of it? Visitation can be very restrictive. For example, I talk with my daughter once a month via video-conference and visit Japan once a year. My ex-wife’s new husband is always present. He directly interferes with my daughter during visitations and interrupts special moments. This is a common boundary for alienated parents. Therefore, it is important to plan visitations and maximise all contact. I want this to be a positive post. My previous post about mediation was negative, so I want to make up for it. This post’s...

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Introduction to mediation

Mediation crash course Disclaimer I had a really bad experience with mediation so I’m going to be pretty negative about it. I hope that when reading this, people can respect how it is possible for mediation to be a really good option if both parties participate in good faith. When and why? Mediation was mandatory for my circumstances. As soon as Japan’s Central Authority approved my application under the Abduction Convention, I was offered five free, monthly mediation sessions. I was excited and optimistic about my prospects. In theory, mediation is a great idea, if both parents can cooperate....

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Data security tips and tricks

Data security for left behind parents In my previous post I detailed how I lost a lot of precious photos. Now, I want to share some practical data security tips on how to keep your data private and secure. This is an increasingly important issue because platforms such as Facebook encourage you to add as many ‘friends’ as possible and share as much as possible. Also, unless you are a target, e-mail security usually just means having an okay password and not clicking on phishing links. The thing is… what do you do when your attacker knows all of...

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