Author: Paper Boundaries

Getting married in Japan (Part 1: Reflections) Marriage can be extremely positive and rewarding in Japan. Many of my good friends have amazing lives/experiences.  Without doxing anybody, there’s lots of business, lifestyle and family choices that are simply not available outside Japan. Many friends are living the dream operating their businesses in Japan within otherworldly river/mountain scenery, surrounded by amazing Japanese friends/clients who are willing to back business ideas that would be unthinkable elsewhere. All of them have top notch relationships with their Japanese spouses. Unfortunately, I have also seen a lot of marriages fail. Failed marriages don’t always...

Introduction Recently the Japanese Ministry of Justice requested comments on proposal number 300080169. Below is my submission (which does not meet the ‘readability’ standards of a blog post, so hopefully gives you something a little more frank). This links in with the Abduction Convention because the draft materials work alongside it, shaping how Japanese courts implement it. Apologies in advance if I have misinterpreted the proposal. While I speak conversational Japanese, I (unfortunately) am not very good at reading formal Japanese. I have used a translator to read proposed legislative changes. While this isn’t great practice, I want the...

Pre-visitation nerves and feelings Sorry, I have not blogged recently. I find the pre-visitation period very challenging. It is midnight and I cannot sleep. Usually I am too tired to stay up late. Tonight is different. I am considering two challenges. These are my raw thoughts and feelings… Firstly, I don’t want to inconvenience anybody. I have a life. I am married and we have a young child. Also, work is very busy. To work this is recreational leave.  To my wife, this is a threat – as if I am chasing the past. At their request, I have...

Why prepare for direct visitation? To me, direct visitation is when I get to physically see my daughter. I get to see my daughter for three days a year (yes, three) under the watchful eyes of my ex-wife’s new husband. These three days are very intense, so preparation is important. I prepare so that I have a clear head, a positive attitude and enough activities to maximise the quality of our direct visitation. How can you prepare? I prepare by: discussing plans with close family members; preparing a travel itinerary; brush up those language skills; investigating support services; discreetly...

Alienation – what is it? Alienation (also known as Parental Alienation Syndrome, PAS) is often part of parental abduction. It is not defined in the Abduction Convention, but parental abduction is a kind of alienation. A broad definition from the article I have just quoted is ‘any conduct that hampers the coexistence of child or adolescent with parent in autonomous lawsuit or incidentally‘. I think a broad definition is useful because alienation can involve many different acts. Some argue that alienation is an excuse used by child abusers who don’t deserve access. I respect that some children need to...