Author: Paper Boundaries

COVID-19 and the Olympics present unprecedented challenges for child access in Japan. 2020 will be a test! Japanese schools are closed indefinitely. People fear that foreigners may give them COVID-19. My country’s government advises that I ‘exercise a high degree of caution’ when considering travel to Japan. Let’s not forget that before all of this, my daughter’s abductors were already playing silly games and claiming she didn’t want to see me. Further, my mum lost her house to the Australian bushfires, which blanketed us with hazardous smoke for 3 months. What can parents do to ensure access despite all...

Why so glum? Firstly, this blog is not about hating on Japan, my ex or women in general. That is a toxic path to walk down. However, I have my moments. For me, ‘access’ moves on a sliding scale and the scale itself often moves. Right now I feel sad. The scale has just moved – the game has just changed. Three years ago I regained limited, heavily obstructed access to my daughter. Two months ago my daughter’s step-dad sent me an e-mail (in Japanese). It said, ‘my daughter does not want to talk to you ever again, please...

Connecting with my (unknown) paternal grandparents This post certainly isn’t about me. However, I will start by reflecting on the fact I never had access to my paternal grandparents’ culture. My father is from an Italian background. I never lived with him and his parents were dead before I was born. I don’t speak Italian and have never visited Italy. However, I know I wouldn’t be here today if an Italian couple hadn’t fled Europe during times of conflict. I feel a little uneasy when people assume I can’t understand being from a migrant background because I’m ‘white’. Why?...

Setting: Summer 2019, pre-visitation In Summer 2019, my mother and I optimistically packed our bags for a three day visitation with my daughter. The ANA flight was marvelous and an air of nostalgia filled my nostrils as I exited the plane. Despite all that has happened, Japan is my second home and there is something to be said of that first whiff of humidity, fresh grass, luxury perfume, plastic, jet fuel and petrichor. After shuffling through customs and collecting my bags I grabbed a green tea and a small biscuit. I then took a bus to my favourite little...

What is the shipwrecked mind? The shipwrecked mind, coined by Mark Lilla, is a reactionary mindset belonging to those who reject what is good about the present and instead hang on to a nostalgic vision of the past. I came across it while reading an article about the Christchurch shootings and Lila’s book (very academic but still a good causal read) got me thinking about the mindset of parental child abductors. While the tragic events that occurred in Christchurch are clearly far more extreme than that of an isolated parental child abduction, discussions about the mindset of terrorists reminded...